>>21:44
feeling better. taking meds for adhd/mdd. i’m not a fan of taking meds but doing nothing hasn’t really been helping. that’s… kinda the whole problem. i do nothing. anyways, my summer semester has started and i’m taking 3 online classes. i don’t usually participate in all the online discussions they force you to interact with each other in, but i also usually fail my classes, so i figured maybe there’s some correlation there. so i popped my pill and figured i give this a shot then figured hey what the hell, why don’t also post this to my website that nobody reads, not that that’s a bad thing because i’m not sure i want anyone on this site yet because it’s a complete unorganized mess anyway! yay! but hopefully that will all change soon. i actually really like these classes so far, and as one of the professors even said in the syllabus (paraphrased) “summer semesters take 16 weeks of content and condense them into 8, so for the next 8 weeks, programming is your life.” which i like. i need that. like i said, i don’t like taking meds, but i really could benefit from a condensed period of intense focus and learning, and i think this summer just might be perfect for that.
anyways, here’s what i wrote as an introduction to me for my online classmates, i guess:
Hi!
My name’s Nate. I had trouble logging into Canvas for the first week of class, so apologies for the late post.
My hobbies are making music and playing video games. I should probably play less video games and make more music, but I’m not exactly the most proactively productive person haha.
My goal for this summer is to learn how to focus. I am an easily distractible person and unfortunately, my grades show for it. So this semester I want/need to to pass my classes. A’s would be nice, but honestly at this point just getting by would suffice.
The reason I am taking this course is because I have recently switched majors to computer programming and although this is not a required course for the certificate I am working towards, I have heard nothing but good things about Python and it sounds like a programming language that would really spark my interest in the subject as a whole.
I am taking this class online because I do not thrive in a typical classroom format. I spend most of my time online anyway, so I comfortable in this environment and I hope to develop a habit this summer of logging into Canvas to check on and complete my school work before moving onto my less productive internet habits.
I originally went to Berklee College of Music in Boston where I studied drums and percussion, but I dropped out after 2 years because of money and other such reasons. However, during my last semester there, I studied abroad in a program that was solely committed to music technology – things such as how does MIDI work, the anatomy of microphones and the more audio engineering side of things – which sparked my interest in computer programming, so I came home to San Diego and found that Mesa College offers a 4-course Certificate of Performance in Computer Programming, so that is what I am aiming to achieve. (Here’s hoping that coding will help pay the bills more than music has so far.)
In terms of experience with programming, mine does not reach far beyond ‘Hello World’ as of yet. I did pass the CISC 181 Computer Info Systems class last semester, which is mostly Excel and Access but it does have a good portion of Visual Basic at the end so I suppose I am at least semi-comfortable with that, but I am still not quite capable of writing code straight from the brain without any external guide or help, which is something I would like to get closer to this semester.
Apologies for the wall of text, but I am excited for this class! I am usually not the best at interacting in these online courses, but I am genuinely interested in learning Python so I will try my best to engage more – if anyone is looking for an extra person for a study group, let me know!
<21:53
>>21:57
i have become somewhat of a hermit over the past few years, so the call to attention for a study group at the end there is kinda half-bullshit, half-genuine desire to get off my ass, go outside my house and force myself into unwanted social interactions with strangers to do unwanted studying which will increase my chances of passing the class… which, i do want to do. so, i will try to remember to update on whether i actually do that or not.
in other news, i am feeling the side effects of this medication right now. as i said in yesterdays post, it makes me feel sick. i’ve always had a slightly overly-sensitive acid-reflex, but this stuff seriously makes me feel like i have hot, warm puke just sitting right in the middle of my throat all day. yeah i know, it’s fuckin’ disgusting. and i can’t stop burping. i mean, i’m always kinda burping, but this isn’t even fun anymore. just feels gross and unsatisfying. like i can never get to the bottom burp. does that make any sense? i am sticking with it though. i have been on and off these things multiple times already and the damn doctors are always like “well you didn’t give it a good enough try, it takes 2-3 weeks to really feel the effects.” so i’m just gonna stick it out. clearly, i am writing more than usual however, so maybe it is doing something.
it also feels like everything is kinda rising to the surface within my body. does that make sense? it was definitely more intense when i first started taking it, (only 3-4 days ago) i was really jittery and could feel my heart beating a mile a minute. it’s definitely not as intense now but if still feels like everything inside me is being sort of lifted, in a sense? i don’t really know how to describe it and i also don’t really know if it feels bad or good either. also my head feels kinda light. but it feels like i need to do something. and ever since i’ve been back in the states i have been back in my routine of doing nothing – which is what i said i wouldn’t do. so i am going to go do something.
i already preheated the oven a few minutes ago, in fact it’s been ready for a while and i can’t stop typing so ima hurry up and finish this and go — i’m gonna put my food in the oven which takes 17 minutes to cook, then instead of going back and laying down to watch a youtube video while i wait to get my food so i can eat that while i watch a netflix show – jesus christ im fuckin lazy – INSTEAD i am going to run. idgaf that it’s 10pm on a tuesday night, this is where i start runnin’. regularly. daily. but if i miss a day that’s okay don’t throw it all away. at least a few times a week. or somethin’. anyway ima go make my food. and run. toodles/
<22:19
>>22:32
i ran.
<22:32